I'm getting ready for some big changes, in so many ways. Those of you who know me well probably know the changes that are coming and if you don't feel free to ask me....maybe I'll tell you. Today is my 26th birthday, and I feel the best I've ever felt in my own skin. It's taken me awhile to get here, and of course I still have work to do. Yes I am a Gemini and though I fit into the "definition" of a Gemini in some ways, I'm also so not a Gemini in some of the ways. I do have my two sides, my crazy fun wild side and my introverted quiet me-time side. I love to give all I have to those who I love who deserve it, and I don't give my love freely to everyone. If you haven't earned it, back up off me! That is me in a nut shell. I can't wait to see what lies ahead for me. Starting another year like this with some big transition coming means a lot to me. It scares the crap out of me, makes me so excited I get butterflies like I almost never get anymore, makes me want to pee a little, makes me want to scream and yell and cry. Over the years (especially the last few) I've encountered some really amazing people. I truly believe everyone comes in and out of our lives for a reason, and some are more important at different stages. I've been blessed with a wonderful family, as well as so many friends and teachers I wouldn't trade for anything, not even a piece of peanut butter chocolate. To me the best friends are those who I learn from, and the best teachers are the ones I can be comfortable with enough to call a friend in some sense. So, this goes out to them....the ones whom even when I may not see or talk to them often, truly know me. All the people I wrote about here are the ones whom I learn from the most, whether they mean to be my teacher or not, they are. They are the best teachers I've ever had. Thank you for being my teacher, friend, love, support, crutch, inspiration, source of laughter, dancing partner, and everything else I could need. For those whom I didn't touch on here (Steve, Neil, Martha, Ben, Ugonma, Cory, Mark, and so many more) this goes out to you cause I love you too, I simply can't write a book as a blog post. One day I do hope to write a book, and surely you will all be part of it. I've got an interesting, heartbreaking, tragic, painful, wonderful and sometimes funny, family story. And I've got quite a few experiences and stories of my own wish so many more to come, I feel I must write a book one day!
The first and always the most important (for me) is family. These are the people who know me from day one, before I even had my own thoughts or personality, when I was soooo innocent (yes there was a time). These are the people I learn from the most because they test me the most, the ones whom drive me to the point of yelling curse words into thin air when I'm alone, the ones who love me unconditionally in the most special of ways. They are my heart and soul.
First, siblings. Timmy is my younger brother and he is something else! He is wild, rebellious, sensitive, intuitive, smart-mouthed, hilarious, and everything else a young man should be. He is finding out what he wants in life...aren't we all? He has always had a special way of pushing my buttons, as most brothers do. He also gives me such love and acceptance, that I can never thank him enough. He used to squeeze my thigh muscle to make me laugh when I was pissed at him. I remember when he called me a bitch for the first and only time ever when I was hormonal in high school and how bad he felt when I cried about it. He supports everything I have ever done, and I feel he strives for my support in his decisions. I think many younger siblings do this without even knowing....we always try to impress our elders, it's natural. Timmy doesn't have to try to impress me, he shows me something new with everything he does (whether it's from getting good grades or making tons of money or making some not-so-smart decisions). I've learned over the years that even though I want to be extremely over-protective (don't get me wrong if anyone tried to mess with him even though I'm not a fighter I would seriously mess them up in any way I could), I have to let him make his judgement calls and learn from his mistakes just like everyone else. Isn't it funny that we can watch our friends or people whom we're not invested in make a bad decision and pay their dues...but when it's a loved one we cannot imagine watching them do it! We want to save them from pain. We have to show them the right way, we have to help! I'm still working on my process of letting go of him, to let him be his own man and work it out for himself. I think I'm pretty good about actually doing this, but I'm not so good about feeling it. In my head and heart even though physically he's much larger than I have ever been, he's still my little guy, still the one I want to hold onto while we get on the bus.
Kelly is my step sister, the ripe age of 17. It is like a breath of fresh and pure air to watch her grow. I used to hear myself or my friends described that way and I thought they were just being silly old people. Now, even at 26, I know exactly what they meant. It really seems like she was just a little girl, and now I look at her and see a young woman. When she moved into my house I was the 17 year old, and I was a real piece of work. I was angry, rebellious, smart-mouthed, sad, self-centered, and plenty of other things I won't name. I can proudly say I see not one of these traits in her. She is one of the most poised, intelligent, and composed teenagers I've ever laid eyes on, planning on pursuing medicine. I'm kind of jealous of her too, and I'm not scared to admit it. We took her and her friends out to dinner for her birthday and I could not believe how mature she was compared to most of them. Not meaning to bash her friends cause I acted just the same as they did....but she was literally an adult next to them. Sure she has some challenges just like everyone else, but it seems she sees them through the lens of reality. She sees what is true, rather than a pretty painted picture as so many teens do. Sometimes I wish I had what she seems to when I was her age, but I remind myself that I went through those years in the way I was supposed to: as one of the most difficult children to grace the lives of my parents (until Timmy came into his rebellion). It is a gift for me to watch her grow, and it's a gift to my family that she is a part.
The Fatherrrrrrrr. Simply put: my father is my light. He has always supported anything I've ever wanted to do, and I know he always will. He tells me to chase my dreams, he sees me as his daughter who is still a baby but also lets me be a full blown woman. When I watch him in the way he leads his life he is sometimes so self-less and giving. And then he is also very self-serving in some ways, which has been a great learning process for me to do more of what I WANT and not what others want me to do. When I told him I was going to Mexico to do a yoga teacher training a few years ago, and a lot of others including my friends were saying but wait you don't have a job....he was the one who's first words were telling me to enjoy myself. He is the one whom everyone wants to have at their parties...he's a great dancer, socializer, and he knows how to work a crowd. His 50th birthday party was bigger than any party I've ever had! Underneath the surface of the dancer and party man, is the most tender and loving man I've ever known. I had a different kind of childhood than most. I played lots of sports but never watched them...some of my fondest memories of my Dad are jamming to Michael Jackson or the "Love Shack" in front of the TV. A favorite past time was riding in the car with Dad with the windows down on the bumpy road without a care in the world except if he was going to maybe hit a tree from driving so fast (thank Jeebus he didn't). He would make us watch sentimental movies and cry and hold our hands. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find a man who will really live up to what my Dad has been for me...I'm not sure if that's good or bad for the man I marry one day! The more I learn about my Father as a person and not just the picture I painted in my head of "this is Dad", the more I love him and cannot imagine my life without him. Living with him for these past two years has been quite an experience, and I have many fun stories but that should be saved for another day. He's put up with a good amount of my kitchen mess with the juicer, blasting music when I work out early in the morning, and leave my stuff everywhere....it seems I've gotten messy with aging. I guess I'm more like him than I thought.
My Mother is the last on the family list but certainly not least. She is me and I am her. We of course differ in so many ways right down to our philosophy on life by some views. When it comes to the core (as well as physical appearance), I am my Mother through and through. She is so intelligent, sometimes it may be too much. She is extremely sensitive and loyal, and has given so much for her family, I wonder how she still has time to give to herself. Formally trained first as a dancer and engineer, she gave up what she really loved for the people she really loved: family. I wish I had known her as a younger woman, just as I wish I had known her mother as a younger woman. My Grandma has been a source of learning and lessons too. I bet they were both crazy and beautiful and so similar to me yet also so different. I feel so blessed that I had my Mom at home with me during my childhood. Even though I can't seem to remember much about being a kid, I have tid bits here and there and they are all beautiful. Even the painful memories are beautiful, because they are mine. There are countless tales and stories of my brother and I and all the things we got to experience because we had a Mom at home with us: Timmy came in with his bone poking through his skin, Mom telling us to be quiet when we were having screaming matches in the garage, when he fell down the stairs and she caught him and I hid in the closet cause I was scared (didn't cross my mind to help the poor little guy), when I needed a Mom in the classroom cause my 1st grade teacher was an evil witch to me, or when we broke the flower pot and she yelled that it was in shock (we still laugh about that) and so on. She is the one who always made me want to be better. She made me want to be the best I could, and give all I had and more...because that's what she does. She is the one I wanted to impress with high marks on my papers because she's so smart, and when I did something that wasn't so smart, I dreaded telling her, for fear of the "mom look" and that tone of voice that could make Indiana Jones cry. As I make choices as an adult, she's the one whom I feel like the ten year old handing the report card to. When I am as old as she is and I'm taking care of her as she grows into an elderly woman, I feel I will still be craving for her to say "good job Alicia, I'm proud of you". She is one of my pushers, who keeps me in my place, who tells me what she really thinks, and who allows me to explore to find out what is right for me on my own. She often tells me how strange I am but when she says it she has such a look of love and almost admiration in her eyes, that I love her more for it. The birthday card she recently gave me said "don't ever change or mold yourself into what you think others want you to be." My initial thought was "well of course I wouldn't"..I rarely do that now. I know myself and I know that I would do that because I used to do it, a LOT. I'm so happy to be done with all that phony business, and to have my family accept me for what I am now...in all my glory and with all my flaws, just as I am now.
Casey: An old time friend of my Dad's from wayyy back. They worked together during their ripe 20's as special ed teachers, walking around together with m&m's in their aprons and trying to make sense of life. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for those times. Casey and Dad worked together through my younger years and stayed good friends when my he eventually left the classroom. I remember seeing Casey as a kind of mystical figure when I was a kid. She always seemed to be around at random times, and I always enjoyed those random times...a LOT. I remember a few conversations between her and my Dad where I was permitted to be the observer, and I always found it fascinating the way she was able to speak her mind so easily. She called my Dad an a$shole during one car ride, which I don't clearly remember...but she told me I laughed from the backseat. She taped a picture of Tom Cruise over my Dad's school ID badge and it stayed there for weeks before he noticed. When I was going through some major hurt, we watched G.I. Jane because she said it was the one movie that always reminded her that women CAN kick any man's ass. She was right, helped my mood immensely..go Demi Moore! When we had a discussion about the end of one of my relationships and I said "I'm still really angry", it stuck with me that she said "really? I can't tell, you're smiling." It was then I realized how much I still covered my emotions. Who the hell was I protecting...her? Myself? Whether angry, sad, jealous, happy, crazy, whatever it was...I vowed to myself to let it out more, to really FEEL it. This change has been a roller coaster but I feel more alive, more Alicia....Martha helped me start this path, very gently. Casey is one of the people who showed me further down the path toward real feeling. It's fitting that she's been practicing meditation for years, and when I found this out I couldn't believe my Dad never told me! He said he forgot and figured it wasn't a big deal....silly Dad. It's only as I've gotten to know Casey for myself as an adult, completely separate from my Dad, that I see how wonderful and real she is. She is able to be objective with me and so I call her my spiritual Mom...she's separate enough from me to not be too invested to act like my real Mom. She is my sounding board, analyst, therapist, source of laughter, kick in the ass, comfort, and so much more. She also happens to be the one who turned me onto the idea for the move I'm making soon, and if not for everything else she is and does, I will be forever grateful to her for this reason.
Allison: my yoga teacher from my teacher training. She was such a guiding light for me in one of my hardest times. I was so confused, heartbroken, emotionally numb and begging for someone to crack me open because I didn't know how to get it back myself. In addition to the other amazing people at Yandara (training in Mexico), she was one of the most important people for the beginning of my getting re-acquainted with myself process. This lasted a long time after I left Mexico (probably still happening). I returned to Mexico a year after I finished my training for a visit, and it was so different but in the most refreshing way. It was less surreal and comforting, but it was more real. She was an image of perfection from the start, yet she was also flawed and perfect in those flaws. It was so nice to know her as more of a real person who had all her own sh*t to deal with, rather than the perfect yoga teacher who never had a problem in life. Her nickname for the two of us as a pair was Thelma and Louise, not so much because we caused trouble but because of the connection we had and the way we seemed to enjoy anything and everything we did as long as we were together. This is how I feel about a lot of my other friends, but it was crazy to me that I had this kind of relationship with someone whom I didn't even know that well and whom I had only known for one month during a retreat. It is what it is and even though we don't talk very much due to our different lifestyles, she's always with me. I think of her all the time, and I feel she probably thinks about me a lot too. As icing on the cake, she shares the same birthday! We are soul sisters through and through, and I can't wait to hopefully see her again one day.
The next person on my list is someone who is new to my life, but she is the one I see the most during these wonderful past few months. My yoga teacher / boss at Sacred Space is Kim, and she is the best yoga teacher I've ever had in addition to Allison. This woman is one of the most real people I've ever met. After reading one of her blog posts and relating to almost every single thing she said, whether it had to do with yoga or love or teaching or life experience, I knew that she was one of my soul connections. I have gotten extremely picky with the yoga teachers that I will attend class with, not because I'm cocky since I'm a teacher but because I would rather do yoga by myself most of the time...more freedom. Yet each and every time I step into Kim's class I learn something about myself, and something about teaching others. I'm kind of obsessed with yoga, as some of you know. I kind of didn't want to write this in fear of sounding shallow and then I remembered I don't really care, so I'll say music is very important for me in yoga. I've been to some classes with good teachers and their crappy music ruins it for me. Kim is like my music soul mate when it comes to yoga tunes...it's always just right: makes me want to dance, cry, laugh, go slow and fast, be crazy and calm. Kim said during one class she remembered days when the only time she felt ok was when she stepped on her yoga mat. As I read I thought "omg, I'm not the only one!" I remember those days....how do you think I got to the point where I can twist myself in such ways? LOTS of practice! Daily, sometimes two or three times a day, I had to be on my mat. I was at another studio when I decided to pop into Kim's class on a sheer whim, and my teaching at this other studio was going very well. I had been there for more than a year and I loved the community and the people I worked with. Yet when I met Kim I felt this compulsion to be there. It wasn't one thing I could pinpoint, but I felt home. I've had this happen with teachers before and it's not their fault but after getting to know them I'm sort of disappointed that they're not like this image they portray to students. Have you met those teachers that seem kind of detached or something because they hold back who they really are...because they want to seem like the "good yoga teacher"? I have, and I've done it. I say screw that, it's disappointing. I never had to face this with Kim cause as soon as I met her she was real from the start...how refreshing. I am known to be impulsive so I decided to sit on those feelings pulling me to come to her studio, to avoid making a rash decision. A few weeks later it was even stronger than it was in the beginning, and so I decided to make the change. This was a big move for me, and when I finally got past the guilt of leaving one place for a reason I couldn't really explain, what I felt and what I still do feel at Sacred Space was bliss. Kim has taught me in just a few months about being more ME, and not giving a crap of what other people think. Of course she is a Gemini and her birthday is the day after mine, so it makes perfect sense that we are one and the same in so many ways. Being a part of her studio for a short time is such a gift and blessing. Not all studios are like hers and I hope she knows what a true gift she has in her hands, and the gift she has for being able to create what she has. Her studio would be nothing without her, she is the guiding light, the heartbeat, the deep core within. I feel sad to leave this studio, I feel like it took me long to find it! Yet I also take comfort knowing that when I come home there is a safe space for me to return to practice, learn, move, and feel. I've gotten bored of a lot of teachers before, and one perk of leaving her so soon after beginning my practice with her is that I know I'll never get bored. It's wonderful to have teachers out there that you still crave time with but can't have it...it keeps motivation high. I feel comforted knowing that she's still thriving and doing her thing, even as I move on. People like her are what keeps me moving.
Manu: this woman! Not much I can say about Manu except that to know her is to make my life more. Not more this or more that, simply MORE. More me, more her. As is a theme with this friends list…she is so real. I met Manu through Molly at a girls night get together, and I was immediately wondering to myself: "Who the hell is this girl and how can I know her?" Before I get into the reality of Manu, I want to paint the picture of her looking like a super model, she is a 6 foot tall brazilian goddess. So this makes her real persona even more refreshing when a man sterotypes her and she responds with: "are you serious, mother f*cker? what's really going on with you?" They literally don't know what to do with themselves. My love for this woman runs so deep for countless reasons; I have often told my friends and she has told her boyfriend (much to his dismay) that if we were able to be lesbians, we would be the perfect couple. I would drop the subject and thought of men in a second for her. She has been there for me through some really intense times including finishing getting over my first love (do we ever really get over the first, the fairy tale?) and getting over the next one that was different but still stung like hell, my best friend moving cross country, deep sadness and anger, confusion, and probably every other emotion in the book. She gently points out when I'm acting like a royal b*tch or brat, but lets me experience it and feel it so I can finish it. I can't help it it's just in my nature...I want what I want when I say I want it. I have learned that I may not always get it : ) My memories surrounding Manu are so full of joy from dancing, drum circles, crying together over heartbreak, laughing over past experience, ranting on the phone about my job, watching movies, bicker, bitch about family, it's almost as if all of those experiences are the same simply because I feel so full when I'm with her, no matter what we're doing. Even as we both move into different phases in our lives, I know she will always be with me and we will only grow closer as we age. A letter she wrote to me recently brought up so many emotions about leaving her, I could only have a good long cry (I don't have those too often) and I could barely get off the floor after. She is the one (not a man, but my best friend), who made me seriously question whether I wanted to leave MD. I can't imagine willingly leaving a place where she is...yet I've got a force pulling me that won't stop. Only she could express anger, love, guilt, remorse and excitement all in one letter so perfectly. She said I allowed her to really come into her own craziness, into more of HER. Yet that's what I feel she's done for me. I've learned so much from her, on so many levels. She has been through some major pain in her life and watching her deal has shown me what I always needed to know. I used to cover over emotion, pretend like everything was ok, including me. I watched her look her pain in the face, take it all in, hold it, slap it in the face, own it, whatever it was it was hers. What a lesson for me to learn! Even though I have no idea what her life is leading to her soon, I can't help that think for some reason that she is headed toward creating her family. I can't wait to be a part of it. I had a dream a few weeks ago that I had a baby boy. While I would LOVE to have a baby boy and I think I someday will (and he better have that beautiful curly hair that was in my dream), I really don't think it's in my horizons anytime soon...I feel that this baby boy could perhaps be hers! Who knows if I'm just being crazy, but I have a little tiny inkling. Manu if you have a baby boy soon, don't say I didn't tell you first!
Molly: ahh Molly, where shall I begin. Molly is a woman I met during one of my darkest hours. I remember when I met Molly and how I was so impressed by her, how I felt like a child next to her, how I wasn't really sure how to act. I remember it being something like: "Well, just be yourself. But...who am I?" In addition to some major emotional turmoil I was in, my grandmother had recently passed away. I had just started doing yoga and I started going to actual yoga classes at the studio where Molly worked. After a few weeks the manager asked me if I would be interested in working at the desk so I gave it a go. Enter to my life a new community: Molly, Kelly, Colleen, Melissa, Jessica, Ashley, Michelle, Jill, Kate....all wonderful women. All of these women became friends and we had a real blast working together even though the owner was seriously off her rocker...it made for good stories. Colleen "trained" me first and I remember my first night ever training, Coll was enjoying a bottle of wine before a concert...was it Boones Farm Coll? ; ) Right away I knew I had found some awesome women. The next time I worked I met Molly, another fiery red-haired woman with an amazing sense of humor working at this new-age place. I got to know a few yoga students and some of the teachers, and I was overwhelmed with everyone I was meeting, simply because they were all such good people. I had been around good people before, but not like this. What was I to do with myself? After a few weeks of being in the community there, I started hanging out with these girls, and my life seriously took a turn. As I got to know Molly and Colleen better, I began to know true friendship. We had some of the most fun nights I've ever had dancing, playing wine flip cup (yep, the old Alicia), eating grilled cheeses (it must have been 10 in one night), meditating, stealing parking cones, doing yoga, having deep discussions, watching Tourettes guy, etc. It was when I began cultivating the kinds of friendships I have with these women that I finally began to understand that I needed to find out what I wanted out of life. I was at a major turning point. As I got to know them better I realized I barely even knew myself at all. Through the first few years of my friendship with Molly I lost my job, began teaching yoga, and got in touch with some serious issues I had. I watched Molly struggle with her career as a teacher, decide to leave it for Chinese medicine and acupuncture, and move her entire life to Colorado
Tamar: one of my best friends from high school. Tamar is so important for me, she's like my rock at times. Out of all the people I went to high school with she is the one I keep in touch with consistently, and the one I never really expected to be so close with. I think we've surprised each other with how much we've both grown up in the past years. We used to do ding-dong ditch nights and make prank calls, which was insanely fun. Now as adults, we can have discussions about things that really matter, and laugh about the dumbest things ever. I think part of the reason behind this is that Tamar has always been true to her emotions, no matter what they are. For me, I have sometimes been a little more analytical in my thinking in the past few years...and so seeing Tamar be so real with her emotions has been a lesson for me; a reminder that not everything has to be this or that, it can be about the feeling! This means road rage, which Tamar is a pro with expressing. And she is the most giving, amazing person. She is a wizard in the kitchen and can make things that would make you give up ANY diet. She can make you look like a movie star (or a hooker, whichever you prefer) by doing hair and makeup with the simple twist of her hand that seems so natural. And she has an eye for designer merchandise that really doesn't compare with anyone I've ever met. She kind of makes me want to be in Sex & The City, but I just don't care enough. She also knows that a Louis Vuitton bag doesn't mean sh*t when it comes to real issues in life, and she has been through her share. She has been my teacher through some of my toughest moments as well. She has seen me through my worst pain and some of my most enjoyable life-altering decision making. And every step of the way she has simply said "good for you, go for it, you're going to be okay." Tamar, the Alicia from middle school, the Alicia from high school, the Alicia from college summers, the Alicia from a few years ago when I was so out of balance but you never made me feel that way, the Alicia from a few weeks ago at Starbucks having one of the most hilarious conversations ever....all of those Alicia's always loved you the same, and I love you the same now.
Jen: One of my college roommates and tennis teammates. Pretty much the same story goes for Jen as it gos for Tamar. I met Jen when we were both so young, ripe age of 18! We were both a wee bit underdeveloped in terms of maturity and size, and so I felt a connection with her as one of the "runts" of the team. Jen is SO talented as an athlete, she was so damn fast on that court and I would have hated her guts for it if she weren't the sweetest person I've ever met. We lived together our sophomore year until graduation at the lovely age of 22...my my what a year that was for me (yikes!) Jen has been there for me through the ups and downs, and when I see her now we even still have the most stimulating, intellectual, emotionally investigative conversations I've ever had. Of course we laugh too because laughter is medicine and cures all. She is one of my soul mates for sure and through her travels to Cuba to work for the FBI (yep she's a bad ass), and Hawaii to visit her sister, and Colorado
DeWayne: I went to elementary school with this guy. Imagine this: kindergarten class in the hallway in a line. Dewayne is a young rebellious loud mouth bad ass five year old who refuses to stand in line. Alicia is an undersized smart mouth princess who thinks she knows everything, probably wearing something pink and mis-matched because she insisted on dressing herself. Alicia proceeds to tell Dewayne to get in line and listen! Dewayne slaps Alicia right across the face, hard, with no apology to follow. He should have been in line, but I got mine! And I thank him for it every time I see him. From there my Mom thought it best to play nice so she set up a lunch date and we became great friends. He wore my tu-tu on his head at my birthday party. My Mom later became a mentor for him through his elementary and middle school years, and he became a part of my family as all my close friends did. We had a special relationship until we got a bit older and grew apart...as the teenage Alicia became more of a brat and Dewayne kept pursuing his goals with gusto, we went on different tracks for a bit. I came back to him every so often in my mind and he always made me smile. I saw him a few times during our college careers and he always impressed me. He impressed me finishing college with no outside help, he impressed me running track and competing the way he did while I was hungover for many of my tennis matches...whoops. Recently he moved back to MD after living in NYC and we had a night to ourselves to catch up. I have never laughed so much in the span of 6 hours as I did with this man, how I had forgotten what a wonderful and real person he is! We sat at my brothers' restaurant for beer and then went dancing. While sitting and talking we combed through so many memories that we never got to share from sex and relationship stories to roommate horrors and academic challenges. When we got out dancing he experienced house music my way (he's a reggae guy) and after spending some time laughing at all the crazy people that are to be seen in DC, we made our way home. On the way home we sang at the top of our lungs to Florence + The Machine and Tortured Soul, and he lectured me reminding me how lucky I am (as he always used to do)...it was such a fitting moment and a perfect night. This is one of those friends whom I don't see much and whom I rarely talk to simply because we are both so busy, always on the go, and bad about picking up the phone. When I do see him it is full of bliss, and when I think of him I get that same feeling. And then it's all real because I feel it, right?
Jason & Jon & the dancing crew: These guys are also known as "For Quarters Collective". I met them through Colleen at a random social gathering. They happened to be spinning on the DJ tables and I was into the music, so Molly and I showed off some not to smooth tae-bo moves...which certainly got us some nice looks from the crowd at the bar. That was two summers ago and my life has seriously changed since then. Even through moving out of Baltimore, I have continued to go out for the music of these guys. It's all about the music, but it's all about so much more. Everyone that surrounds them is amazing: their family, wives, children, friends. I've been introduced to other musical hot spots because of them. I've had some nights where I go out dancing all by myself because of them and I have a spectacular night because of what they have provided for me. They are all about fun and love and light, but they also know the importance of friendship, good actions, and family. They are so open and loving, but I also feel so protected by them and I know they would have my back for anything I needed, any time. I've met one of the best dancing partners I've ever had through them. I remember the first few times I saw him and I seriously thought he was a professional dancer by the way he moved with this woman he was dancing with. After getting over intimidation and the "not good enough" feelings, I eventually danced with him not just a few, but many nights. He's one of the few men I've met who aren't into dancing for another motive, but really all for connection, moving together, and learning from each other. I've learned SO much from him, and for him I send out my biggest wave of love.
This ends my tribute to my soul mates. This was sooo much longer than I expected it to be but because I love writing and it felt wonderful to do it, so take it or leave it, do what you want with it. Thank you to all these people and to everyone else too, for helping me to be more me. It's because all of you are true to yourselves, that I learn how to be more so for myself. Now I'm as crazy as I've ever been, and I feel pretty good about it. I pass people on two lane roads, play techno music in yoga class, bite the doctors I work for, dance at work, go dancing in the city by myself until 3 am, don't eat meat but I do eat m&m's when my fave doctor brings them to work; my hair is crazy (sometimes I like it) and I shake it around like the great goddess Kali that is my favorite yoga guru to think about, I fall asleep in the middle of yoga class, I don't drink alcohol often (anymore) but when I do I have a tendency to flirt too much. There are more special people out there whom I don't know yet, and I can't wait for them to be a part of my life. So much of my learning in the past year has been from the doctors I work for and my co-workers. You all will have a post dedicated to you very soon, I love you all mucho!
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